The response to my decision on Wednesday night to close my FriendFeed account has been, to say the least, rather interesting (and somewhat overwhelming). Responses have ranged from shock and outrage to anger to mere flippancy. Most people have been overwhelmingly kind and generous, and a few have said, in essence, that I need to grow a backbone and learn how to deal with it.
All these responses are probably valid, in some way or another, and I’m not going to try to argue against any of the charges made. But, in response to the statement, “this is all too abstract for me,” I’ll try to clarify the particular issue:
People behave far worse online than they ever would in person.
Frankly, as I said earlier, I’m tired of it. Every time I sign on, it seems like someone is spewing hate-filled comments. For some people, it seems like it’s not enough to believe that you’re right; you must also crush, humiliate, and ridicule anyone who holds any sort of opposing opinion. And you must do it vehemently, loudly, and repeatedly.
Maybe I do need to grow a backbone and learn how to take it. On the other hand, if this happened in a “real world” establishment like a restaurant, church, or gym—imagine someone walking up to your table, telling you that your family is contemptible and poking fun of your hair and clothing—most civilized people would not sit there and either take it or debate the point for days on end; once they’d expressed their viewpoint, they’d simply take their business elsewhere.
For me, I’ve fought the fight. I’ve tried to convince people to see reason. I’ve attempted to persuade, cajole, influence, moderate, and every other verb I can think of. Note that I don’t care if you hold a different opinion than I do—the world is full of people with different opinions, and that’s a wonderful thing. What I object to is seeing people being treated with disrespect, with downright hostility and abuse, in a very public setting—so much so that many people take this sort of behavior for granted.
So I’m taking a break. I’m tired, and I need a rest. I’ll stick check in on things, and maybe I’ll be back some day, but, for now, you can find me here or in one of the numerous other online haunts that I frequent.
Thanks to everyone whose kind words and comments are so uplifting—you folks are amazing, and I’m very blessed to get to know you.
Dude! Well said. That is all.
Again, Glen, sorry for any part that I played in your decision. I do sincerely wish that you would come back because you are a moderating and moderate voice in the community and it's a real shame if we lose that. I of all people think that we need that most of all right now.
I completely agree with you. I've been saying this for a long time, people do sometiems seem to forget their manners online. So often I see someone say something online and I ask myself, "Would he/she say the same thing if we were in my living room?" More often than not, I think, "No." But maybe that's me being naivlly optimistic. I'm usually accused of being too PC or taking too much time to craft a sentence and sometimes it's a pain but in the long run I think it's the best way for me to behave.
Uhm. Do I have to get off my soapbox? I'm taller when I stand on it.
Hi, Glen! You should have smileys in your comments. I like smileys.
well said! I was sorry to see you go – I didn’t know you very well and haven’t been on FF very long. Take care and I’ll see you here at least.
Hey! Smilies! Yay!